Leading with Empathy
Never has there been a more important time for managers to step up and demonstrate their leadership skills.
With continuous lockdowns, employees working from home while juggling homeschooling, family and other commitments there is a need for managers to show empathy in leadership.
Empathy in leadership has been reported as being negative or weak however Jacinda Adern is an example of an effective leader who demonstrates empathy and kindness in her leadership style.
There are many examples of where empathy could have changed the outcome of certain situations:
Mary, had a father in hospital with a life threatening illness. There were times when Mary needed to prioritise being at the hospital rather than at work especially when called in by the hospital to be by her father’s side. The response by management was “if you think you need to be there” and “I’m sure he’ll be ok”. As it turns out Mary’s father was ok however as it was a serous diagnosis the outcome could have been different and making Mary decide between being at work or by her father’s side was a challenging decision that she should have not had to make. Mary was a hard working employee who put in extra hours to make up for the time she spent with her father.
Tanya’s father passed away after a short battle with cancer. Tanya was very close to her father, still living with her parents and was devastated by his passing. She needed to take time away from work to grieve. Management was concerned about how much time Tanya was away from work and persuaded her to return before she was ready. Tanya cried at work and was clearly not emotionally ready to return to the office, due to her work ethic she continued to attend work and got her job done to the best of her ability. Due to the lack of management support Tanya resigned from her job a month later.
Sarah’s sister had a serious illness (cancer) and Sarah was a manager of a team. Sarah needed time to support her sister and family during her treatment. Sarah returned to work and continued working during this time, obviously distracted by her sister’s illness. Sarah’s direct manager provided initial support however as time went on management forgot about it and expected Sarah to continue working as if nothing else was going on. One manager said to Sarah that it was none of her business to ask how her sister was going and so she kept the conversation to work only. Sarah’s performance was impacted during this time and there was no empathy or allowances provided. As a result Sarah resigned from the job.
In these examples there could have been different responses from management that could have retained high performers including allowing the employee to have the time off they needed to grieve, providing support, empathy, understanding and listening to the needs of the team. The employees were committed to their roles and with the right approach from management including communicating with the employee and not making assumptions there could have been an agreement reached that was mutually beneficial for both parties. As a leader you can lead by example and put yourself in the employee’s shoes.
Some of these examples are many years ago however the employees still remember them today.
What does empathy in leadership mean?
Getting to know your team and building an open and trusting relationship so that your team can bring any issues to you.
Listening is essential. Listen to your team member to understand what is going on for them.
Ask the employee what you can do to support them during this challenging time e.g. time off, review their workload, ask the team to assist etc.
Be authentic – share with your team if you are not 100% present at work and leading by example will in turn encourage your staff to do the same.
Encourage your team to do their best and don’t lose confidence in them.
What are the benefits of being an empathetic leader?
An empathetic leader is more likely to have a committed loyal team. The employees will want to come to work and do their best for their manager and the organisation. The results will speak for themselves. There is research that happy employees provide better service to the customers and will help the organisation to achieve their goals.
How do you develop your leadership skills?
Leadership skills can be developed through experience. I know that I have made decisions in the past that are different to what I would today. For example, an employee asked me for leave to attend his Aunty’s funeral overseas. Reading the company leave policy at the time I said that bereavement leave was for immediate family members only and he took annual leave. He was clearly upset by the passing of his Aunty and I would have approved at least some of the time as bereavement leave.
There are many leadership books from Simon Sinek, Brene Brown and others that you can read to understand the role of a leader and how to develop your skills.
Leadership training is also beneficial if it is also includes coaching or a follow up to ensure that the new skills are applied. Often short courses (1-5 days) teach the skills however the manager can return to their role with no change to their behaviour as it can be difficult to know how to apply their new skills.
Leadership coaching allows the individual to work 1:1 to develop their leadership skills and to be held accountable to their action plan. In my experience this has been most effective in assisting the manager to see the impact of their current leadership style and the need for change. See my previous blog post about the benefits of leadership coaching.
If you are ready to realise your full potential and develop your leadership skills please contact me to arrange a Free Discovery call.